


Into the Blue

by PinkRabbitPro



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28237419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkRabbitPro/pseuds/PinkRabbitPro
Summary: When Astra wakes up on earth, surprisingly not dead, she finds herself doubting past decisions, but red kryptonite may make it impossible to repair the damage of the past.
Relationships: Astra/Alex Danvers
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43
Collections: Super Santa Femslash 2020





	Into the Blue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kendrickhier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kendrickhier/gifts).



Into the Blue

by Pink Rabbit Productions

Astra stood alone just as she always had and perhaps that was for the best. Her family had always disapproved of her, so much so that her own sister—her twin—had betrayed her in the worst way imaginable, sending her to prison while Kara, whom she’d once believed was nothing but an innocent dupe, had turned on her as well, siding with the humans, unable to see that Astra never meant them ill. Maybe her methods were too harsh, but she'd been trying to save them, painfully aware it would end in unbelievable tragedy if something wasn’t done. She thought Non had seen that harsh truth, but he’d simply enjoyed the notion of ruling—Krypton or earth, he didn’t care which. Just as well that was over now. Wherever he was, alive or dead, she didn't really care. The marriage had been arranged when she was still a child which struck her increasingly as a foolish Kryptonian tradition. She and Non had never even liked one another and she knew he was resentful and ever-eager to use her family's power to his own political benefit. Oh, he’d often seemed to support her, but she wasn’t blind enough to believe there was anything sincere to the choice, only cold blooded political practicality.

He obviously wasn't in command of this world, so it seemed likely he was dead, whereas she had managed her return in a crashed casket and it seemed doubtful anyone was looking for her. Probably they thought her long deceased from her kryptonite wound instead of healed by time and her catatonic state while frozen in space. She couldn't imagine anyone would look or even cared.

Which was probably just as well. Kara likely hated her by now, Non and the rest of her army were probably with Rao and she was floating above a city of aliens. No, check that. She was the alien and it was their world, their city, doomed though it might all be.

At least the city was pretty from this view, decked in lights as it was, the air crisp and cold enough to make the lights ultra clear with only the faintest hint of a shimmer, the air seeming cleaner than it had before. Maybe something was making a difference, an improvement. She hoped so. Her efforts would have darkened the lights, killed so many, but hopefully preserved the world and most of its populace for future generations, but perhaps the humans had begun blunting the damage they were doing to their world in her absence.

Maybe they would avoid her world's mistakes enough to survive.

That was all she’d wanted for Krypton, a future instead of an ugly end.

But maybe in her zeal to save this world from Krypton’s fate, she’d gone too far. Lying in her space-borne casket, her brain just barely functioning as she slowly healed from her wound, that thought hadn’t occurred. Nothing had occurred beyond teh dimmest realization she was alive and it hurt. Now it struck her that perhaps she’d missed some important details. This world wasn’t Krypton, wasn’t bound under her sister’s version of justice. Oh, it had its corruptions, but perhaps they were less dogmatic, maybe even capable of changing enough to save themselves.

Maybe if helped, rather than ruled, this world could save itself. Kara seemed to believe it could and she remembered her niece had been accepted among them, and found a new family, something that would never have happened on Krypton, with its xenophobic fear of anything or any _one_ different. Kara had apparently outgrown that foolish outlook. Clearly she loved her adopted sister, and Astra could understand that feeling. Though their contact had been brief, the woman was brave and clearly loyal, both admirable traits in Astra’s eyes. She had faced a superior foe, clearly in obvious pain and aware she was likely to die, yet she’d been determined to do her duty and in the end, she’d protected Kara.

Despite the stabbing. Astra bore her no ill will. Alex, she remembered now that she thought about it—had been protecting an ally and she fought back in the only way that gave her any chance at victory. There was no shame in that. Non would have been angry, but she wasn’t.

Actually, if she was honest, she admired the human. Faced with a fight she had little chance of winning, her focus had been on protecting her family, and she clearly considered Kara family worth dying for.

Astra found that mildly amazing. Her own family on Krypton had been all too willing to punish her for her perceived sins, yet had done nothing to protect the greater populace, only an outdated sense of ideals that had already failed them.

Alexandra—Alex—seemed different, her intent on both protecting Kara and her world, something she was ready to die for.

If a few more of the troops in Astra’s command had been as determined, perhaps she could have—

She cut that thought off as it struck that this was perhaps the wrong mental path to go down, leading as it did back to thoughts of conquest. Kara had found a place on this world. Perhaps she could as well. As a general, she had long sought to conquer, but that tactic had so far, been a failure here. Perhaps it was time to try another approach.

Once upon a time, she had been famed for her tactical creativity, for winning battles no one else could win by adjusting her strategy on the fly. Perhaps her failure on arriving on earth had been in thinking too much like a Kryptonian general bent on ruling, thinking the natives easily led. Perhaps her niece had been the wiser one by fitting in and learning about them.

She hung over the city, admiring the lights and mulling over the possibilities with thoughts of finding her niece, trying to talk it over, or perhaps finding Kara's sister and asking her, and if her heart beat a little faster in response to that thought, there was no sin in that. Humans valued such contact, and given the disaster of her marriage, perhaps their way made more sense.

She was still debating what to do when a soft cry reached her ears, the sound tiny, but frightened. She waited for someone to respond, expecting Kara to fly to someone's rescue, but nothing. The cry came again and this time, she recognized the voice.

Alex.

Perhaps it was a trap. Perhaps they somehow knew she wasn’t dead and were trying to draw her in.

No, that made no sense.

The third cry broke in a way that suggested pain and she whirled, hunting for a direction, looking for more clues. She spotted Alex’s heartbeat, running fast, fear and pain enough to make it accelerate.

She pivoted again, honing in on the direction.

And flew.

The building was some kind of warehouse, likely dark and threatening to a human. Bright enough for her to see the problem instantly.

Alex was down, one wrist lashed by some kind of cuff, four men surrounding her, clearly thinking they had the advantage.

Astra didn’t debate. She simply attacked, her movements quick and economical, sparing no time for anything except ending them, only something exploded to her side, a bright red mist leaving her hazy and uncertain for a moment as the world threatened to spin on its axis. She dropped to the ground, but stayed on her feet, shaking her head dazedly as it struck her how foolish her brief fantasies had been.

Two of the men tried to attack. She hurled them both away with barely a glance as they landed and didn't get up, her brain already on to other topics.

Her niece would never accept her back. It would be war all over again. Her teeth gritted, hands knotting into fists.

The third and fourth of Alex's attackers came at her from either side, one swinging a heavy pipe, the other using his fists. It was a poor strategy at best. She blocked both attacks with ease, then punched her palm into one man's chest and backhanded the other. Bones cracked and they both went flying to hit several yards in different directions.

Her own distant thought was that perhaps Kara's refusal to accept her wasn't such a bad thing.

Kara might have been a dupe in Alura’s plots, but perhaps she’ d been a willing participant.

Perhaps it was time to pay her niece back for all her suffering, and perhaps this world she loved so should come along for the journey.

“Astra?” the startled exhalation was so soft a human likely wouldn’t have heard, but Astra was no human. She spun, eyes narrowing as she spotted the speaker even as the final two men ran, disappearing into the night.

Alex was on her feet, but only just. She threw off the chain her attackers had used to bind her, but she was limping and bleeding in more than one place. She stared at Astra, head canting to one side as if she couldn’t quite believe was she was seeing.

“Surprised I’m alive?” Astra whispered, her voice unexpectedly creaky and unfamiliar to her own ears.

Alex backed up a step, and there was fear in her expression, but also something else harder read that looked suspiciously like relief. “I saw you die,” she exhaled. “Kara took your casket out and released it into space.”

It was strange, but she didn’t seem happy about that. Instead she sounded sad, almost bereft. It broke the rage that had been growing in Astra’s chest and left her staring at the other woman as if she was a riddle to be solved.

Then Alex did the strangest thing Astra could imagine. She smiled and whispered, “You’re alive.”

“Why are you smiling?” Astra asked before she could think better of it.

The question seemed to pull Alex up short and she blinked rapidly, brows drawing into a deep frown. “I...” The single syllable faded and she looked uncertain, her mouth working momentarily as if she didn’t quite remember how to speak. “I didn’t want what happened,” she finally confessed, her tone that of someone saddened by a necessity, not a frightened enemy bargaining for their life. “I just didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t let you...” Again, her voice faded into nothingness.

Still studying her closely, Astra stepped closer, searching the deep blue of her eyes as she drew within reach. She had no plan, but without thinking, her hand floated in the air as though separated from the rest of her and her fingers made contact with Alex’s cheek.

The pure softness and warmth of her skin seemed to vibrate under Astra’s fingers as her heart accelerated until it almost hurt. “You couldn’t let me hurt those you care for,” Astra finished for her.

“No,” Alex breathed. “I couldn’t, but I didn’t want...that.”

“No.” No, she wouldn’t want that. She could see that now. Alex was a warrior, but not a mindless killer, not like others she’d encountered, Non, her soldiers. Her niece? She pushed those thoughts off. “You only did what you had to.” Astra blinked. It was hard to think, like someone had muddied the air around her and she frowned, struggling with something, she wasn’t even sure what. She stepped a pace closer to Alex, staring down into her eyes, startled by the impulse to step even closer that slid through her before she even paused to consider the why of it.

She didn’t stop until she was close enough to feel the heat pouring off Alex’s body, heat that suddenly sent her mind running down pathways she didn’t even begin to understand. Suddenly she saw Alex’s pupils expand as her breath caught and she fell back a pace.

_No!_

Astra’s hand shot out and she caught Alex’s upper arm, pulling her back. “Don’t...go...” she whispered very softly, her voice ragged and tight. Alex’s breath caught again and her pulse was suddenly a roaring explosion of fast paced hammer strikes in Astra’s ears.

Alex paused, swallowing hard as she stared up at Astra. “I won’t,” she said quickly.

 _Too quickly?_ Astra’s brows drew into a frown, unwanted suspicion skittering up her spine and she flashed a quick look around the area, half expecting to see some kind of threat.

_Nothing._

She tightened her grip on Alex’s arm nonetheless, something strangely possessive sliding through her.

“Astra.” Alex’s voice was soft with a faint tremor underlying every syllable as she said, “Did you inhale something because your eyes, they’re...” She paused for a moment, seeming to debate her next words before she continued, “Red. Your eyes are red in way I’ve seen before—when Kara was poisoned.”

Astra’s frown deepened. “Poisoned?” She shook her head, rejecting the idea. She felt fine if a bit strange, but nearly dying could do that to a person. But any strangeness didn’t feel dangerous. It felt...pleasant in an altogether new way. “No.” She shook her head. “Not poisoned, but something.” She stepped close enough that they were almost touching. “Something good,” she whispered and stroked her fingers back from Alex’s check, trailing her fingers over auburn hair. It was silkier than she could have imagined and she never wanted to stop touching. “I came to this world thinking I could save it—rule it, but that didn’t work, but this works.” She slid a hand around Alex’s waist and tugged the smaller woman close, the awareness of the shape and heat of her nearly overwhelming. Such things had been almost unheard of on Krypton. Physical closeness and intimacy were considered primitive, even uncivilized.

Only as she stood there, Alex’s body molded against her own, those years of distance and denial felt painfully foolish and ignorant.

She’d had no idea what a body might feel like when pressed close. Now she knew enough to know wanted to know more. It was like a pounding beat hammering inside her and wanting out. “I want you.” She wasn’t even sure quite what for, but she wanted to touch and learn.

“Astra, I...” Alex trailed off and swallowed hard. Her heart was still pounding a thudding beat. “I think you need medical help.”

“I don’t want help,” Astra growled. “I want you.”

Alex blinked and started to say something only to pause. “Okay,” she exhaled after a moment. “But I think we need to talk about some things first.”

“I don’t blame you for stabbing me.”

“I—”

Astra didn’t give her a chance to argue. “You had no choice. I would have killed you. You’re a warrior and you doubtless would prefer a fair fight, but that could never happen, so you won the only way you could.” She spread her hand on the small of Alex’s back, shaping her fingers to the sweeping curve. “There’s no shame in a warrior doing whatever’s necessary to win an unequal fight.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, but...” Alex paused and her eyes flashed to the right, the motion quick, but distinct.

In an instant, Astra knew they weren’t alone and pivoted enough to follow the line Alex’s gaze in that quick glance. Kara was there, wearing that god awful red and blue costume of hers with the family crest of El on her chest, her expression twisted with fury.

“I don't know what the hell you got involved in, but let my sister go. Now,” Kara growled, but didn’t move.

Rage flashed through Astra.

Of course Kara didn’t move. That would be an honest attack. She doubtless had others coming in to hit from behind. That was more her style. Innocent as she might seem, she was backstabbing traitor, just like her mother.

“Kara, she wasn't part of the attack. Look at her eyes. I think she’s been exposed to red kryptonite.”

“We can talk about that after you’re safe.”

“She’s in no danger from me,” Astra snarled and spun, shoving Alex behind her. “You’re the threat, the traitorous liar who’s a danger to her...to anyone who gets near you.”

Kara frowned, her eyes flicking t his way and that, but she still didn’t attack.

It was Alex who spoke in the fraught silence. “She hasn’t hurt me. I think she’s just confused,” Alex said, the words coming in halting bursts. “She must have been out in space, healing, then she landed, and the red kryptonite. I don’t think she wants to hurt anyone.”

“Only my treasonous niece, not this world. I realize I made a mistake before. I shouldn’t have tried to force compliance. That was Non’s idea and I was a fool to listen to him.” Suddenly she needed Alex to understand, but it was hard to think, harder to explain. “I just didn’t want another world to die like Krypton did. But I made mistakes, attacked like a general instead of...” She didn’t have the right words and was still searching when Kara moved and suddenly all she could think was that her niece meant to attack again, then someone flew in from her left.

The Martian. Another threat, but it wasn’t her own life she feared for. She was nearly invulnerable on this world, but Alex was fragile flesh, easily broken. “Stay back,” she growled and stepped in front of the human, intent on protecting her from what felt like an imminent attack. She tensed when Alex abruptly stepped around her.

“Everyone calm down,” Alex said, holding up her hands and pushing against the pressure Astra exerted in an effort to keep her safely behind her.

“Alex,” the Martian said firmly, “this woman is—”

“She’s scared and somehow she didn’t die, and I think she’s been infested with red kryptonite. She didn’t hurt me, and I think she wants to change—”

“Change,” Astra repeated the single word, her tone sliding over into desperation as she spun to face Alex. The rush of emotion completely overwhelming her, she grabbed Alex’s shoulders, her touch consciously gentle. She didn’t want to risk hurting her, not her, never her. Astra knew she’d hurt so many and made so many mistakes, but she didn’t want to hurt her.

_Ever._

She was so involved in that thought that she almost missed the small hand gesture the Martian made.

Almost.

She spun, intent on protecting Alex by blocking the attack with her body, expecting it to bounce away harmlessly.

Only it didn’t. Instead there was a spark of pain as a needle sharp dart hit her neck and punctured the skin above the collar of her uniform. She started to pivot toward the attack only to have her knees fold under her.

“Astra,” Alex gasped, spinning toward her.

“Alex—” Kara began and lunged forward, but Alex grabbed hold of Astra’s arm, cushioning her fall as she toppled.

“She’s hurt and scared and she didn’t hurt me,” Alex insisted with a quick look at Kara before she swung her gaze back to Astra. “You didn’t hurt me, and you were sorry about the other things.”

“I’m sorry,” Astra sobbed as an uncontrollable lassitude swept through her, seeming to turn every muscle in her body to jelly. “I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just didn’t want them all to die, or your world either. I didn’t want anymore dying. I don’t want anymore dying, so tired of the dying...”

“I know,” Alex said very softly and brushed dark hair back from Astra’s temple, her touch gentle.

“Alex,” Kara gasped as she fell to her knees beside Astra and brushed Alex’s hand back. “Back off. I’ll make sure she’s—”

“I won’t let you hurt her,” Astra insisted as she struggled to rise only to fall back down.

“She isn’t hurting anyone,” Alex insisted.

“Alex, she’s—”

“I know what she is and what she’s done, but she’s—”

Astra wished Alex would speak louder so she could hear what she was, but the sound waffled and wavered in her ears and she couldn’t make any sense of it, then it faded altogether along with the rest of the world.

* * * * * * * * *

  
Astra woke with a blinding headache, along with an entire body ache that left her dizzy and more than a little confused. She was in a bed, tubes running from her arms, her wrists latched to the bedframe, something wrapped around her forearm and glowing a faint shade of green. 

She was a prisoner. 

The Martian stood off to the side, braced and looking ready for combat while Kara stood behind a glass wall looking equally braced and ready and watching closely.

Alex sat beside the bed. She touched Astra’s arm lightly, her voice gentle. “You’re safe.”

“Are _you_?” Kara demanded suspiciously.

“I think I am,” Alex said softly.

Astra’s thoughts were a muddle, but she was sure of that much. “You are,” she insisted, her voice raspier than she wanted, but understandable. “You’ll always be safe with me.” She didn’t really understand why she needed to make that clear, but it seemed imperative.

“I know,” Alex assured her, then the world faded again.

Later, it would come into sharper focus and she would realize how warped her thinking had been, that Kara had never betrayed her, but that her approach to this world had been all wrong.

The only thing she’d gotten right in those moments was her desire to protect Alex and her world.

That drive remained, but in an all new form. She was still a general, but now she needed to change her focus. She needed to learn about this world and how to help and guide it. She’d done that with Kara when she was a small child. How hard could it be to teach an entire world to clean up their ways?

* * * * * * * * *

**One Year Later**

“So Astra’s off to...” Kara trailed off on a questioning note.

“Protest fossil fuels,” Alex answered as she flashed a quick glance up from her work.

“And she’s still behaving herself?”

“Completely. It’s the most organized the protestors have ever been, but she seems to be very determined to do things the right way this time.”

“And you two are still...”

“Figuring things out? Yeah, we are. Not exactly quickly. I’m the sexually confident one here, so it’s not fast moving, but it’s moving.”

“And she’s still wearing the kryptonite collar?”

“Yep, Brainy’s got the kinks smoothed out so it’s not messing with her health and she can be around you now without any nasty side effects.” There was no obvious criticism in Alex’s tone, but Kara flinched anyway.

“I still need some time. I’m glad she’s alive, but it’s..." she paused to consider her words before continuing, "complicated.”

“She knows that, but she’s trying so hard. You know how that is.”

“Yeah, I do,” Kara exhaled. She paused a moment and took a deep breath. “How about dinner next week,” she finally offered.

“That would be great and I’m sure she’d really love that.”

And she did, just like she loved Alex and this new world and its traditions ways of being close and touching. And organizing. She loved organizing the young people with their idealism and determination.

This world could heal itself, and she could help. She liked that option better than being a general anyway, just like she liked holding Alex and sharing soft kisses better than cold angry glares and a husband determined to lead her army and take over. She liked it much better, well enough to change her entire life for it.

And that was a good thing.

END


End file.
